How to survive the common narsasistic prussian
by justanotherteenagefangirl27
Summary: Mary Vargas (the Vatican City [my oc]) is asked by her boyfriend the ever cocky but brilliantly handsome albino Gilbert Beilschmidt, all she can say is at turned her life into a spiral of chaos unlike what it used to be at the convent. So, she wrote a survival guide for other women in her situation.
1. Chapter 1

The Invitation

"Where are we going tonight?" I asked as soon as I strapped myself in Gil's cherry red mustang (the only car "awesome" enough for him.) "You'll see leibe." He chuckled and I quirked an eyebrow. I made the 'I'm watching you' symbol with my fingers, squinting slightly. He only giggled so I just smoothed my long black dress. Don't get any ideas, I'm not that kind of girl, I forgot to change into my street clothes when I left the convent. See! Not bad, it's a dress for nuns. NUNS. Okay stop judging me just read the damned story, okay?

About an hour later we pulled up at a sleek glass skyscraper. Gil valet'd his car and we went upstairs, floor 69, I think he picked it because of that but we were in number 342. He opened the cherry wood door and I gasped. It was beautiful, when you walked in, on the left was the kitchen, all modern and stainless steel the walls covered in orange luminescent tiles. On the right was a huge living room with plush white carpet a 56" samsung tv, big comfy couches (black) colorful prints were everywhere. in the corner of the room, there were white stair ascending towards a loft area. The dining room was by the wall and a door (probably a bathroom) there was a brautiful chandeleir mahogany table, and all the dishes were white and orange (can you tell my favorite colors. There were doors everywhere, but the main three rooms were all open concept and gorgeous.

"Upstairs, is mein awesome bedroom und bathroom. Zhe door by zhe dining room is zhe half bath, zhe door next to zhe kitchen, zhe office. Vat do ju zhink leibe?" He was definitley excited. "GILBERT THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! WHEN DID YOU GET AN APARTMENT! E MOLTO BELLO! E MOLTO BELLO!" I exclaimed, running around the room(s) "Wait, how did you afford this?" I asked him, "Savings." His smile made the room all the brighter. "Why'd you get this place? I thought you liked living with Ludwig and Mi Fratello?" I cocked my eyebrows. "That's vhy I vanted to talk vis ju leibe." I moved my hands as if to say 'continue...' "Mary, vould ju like to live vis me? Here in mein awesome new apartment? It's close to jour job and and-" I cut him off with a quick peck on the cheek. "I'd love to Gilly." I whispered into his ear.

He grabbed me by the waist and spun me in the air. "Vundebar! Vundebar leibe! Ich leibe dich!" he peppered my face with feather light kisses. "I love you too."

LESSON: WHEN COCKY,NARSASSISTIC, PRUSSIAN, ALBINO'S, WHO JUST HAPPEN TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND OF TWO YEARS ASKS YOU TO LIVE WITH HIM IN A NEW APARTMENT, YOUR RESPONSE SHOULD BE YES.


	2. Chapter 2

"Bye babe have fun with Toni and Francis. Just not to much fun, thats what I'm for!" I kissed his cheek. "Guten nacht, mein awesome fraulein~." he yelled as he walked out the door. Alone at last. With Gil gone I'm free to do whatever I want. I even made a list:

1. Bubble bath

2. Make cookie dough choclate peanut butter ice cream

3. Eat said ice cream before a certain 'awesome' one can

4. Watch Thor the Dark World

5. Update my tumblr

HOUR ONE: 7:00 PM

"PRESSURE! PUSHIN' DOWN ON ME PUSHIN' DOWN ON YOU!" I sang/screamed with David Bowie. I was halfway through my two hour luxurious bubble bath. The water was warm and filled with cocunutty bubbles. I was reading To Kill A Mockingbird again, I love that book so much. I sighed and sunk deeper into the water, the bubbles giving me a white fuzzy mustache.

HOUR THREE AND A HALF: 9:30:

I put the cookie dough layer in the big bowl, then the peanut butter choclate ice cream layer, cookie dough, ice cream, cookie dough, ice cream... I grabbed a big spoon sand settled on the couch turning on the glorious movie about that one guy with the cool hammer and Loki~ (I can't watch it around Prussia, he gets jealous of Loki ad starts breaking my shit) I started watching and ahoving spoonfulls of my glorious snack intmy mouth. "Yuuuuuuuuum"

HOUR 6: 12 AM

Where is he? I turned off TTDW and looked at the digital clock. 12 am?Shouldn't he be home by now? I'll kill that albino bastard!

HOUR 7: 1 AM

My eyes drooped. I continued scrolling thorough tumblr.

"Mary had a little lamb

who's fleece was white as snow

he went to a club one night

and dropped it hella low."

REBLOG!

"Sorry, but you've reached your 200 posting limit. Come back tomorrow!"

Shitttt! I'm bored now! I slammeed my laptop shut. Netflix then. I turned on Supernatural and grabbed a cherry coke zero. Hey, no calories, it's healthy, right?

HOUR 10: 4 am

Thats it. I'm going to bed, but not before I murder his most favorite thing in the world. Beer.I gabbed my 22 snub nose revolver and lined up the bottles on the fire escape outside our living room window.

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

One six pack done, one more to go. The glass was shattered all over the bottom of the stairs and the amber liquid dripped through the small metal gaps. I reloaded my gun, cocked, aimed and:

BANG!

BANG!  
BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

The rest of the bottles shattered and I smiled smugly as I shut the window and pulled the curtains tight. I made my way into the bedroom and stripped, putting on a t-shirt and my pajama pants decorated with rubber duckies. I grabbed my old black body pillow from the closet and snuggled into my cold empty bed. I felt my eyes prick with tears and overflow onto my cheeks, but I was to tired to wipe them away. _Stupid albino bastard._

6 AM: HE RETURNS  
(GIL'S POV)

I entered the apartment silently, slipping off my shoes. It was a wild bachelor party, Francis and Arthur were getting married (FRUK FOREVER BITCHES) and being the best man, I had to throw Frenchie a awesome bachelor party.

The lights are still on, the tv too, I can hear Dean making some weird referance and killing a poor demon. THe kitchen is a mess. Sugar is on the floor, flour, choclate chips, butter, bowls and two containers of Edy's ice cream. The fridge door is wide open, no beer. Huh. I shut it turned off the Tv and the li- wait, why is Mary's gun on the kitchen table?! I ran to the bedroom. Shes clinging onto another PERSON! I stomped over to our bed about to pound some poor mother. It's a body pillow. I look down at Mary. Tears tracked down her pink puffy cheeks, and her short choppy dirty blonde hair halo-d around her head on another pillow.

I pull of my jeans and dress shirt, sliding in next to her in my boxers and gently throw the body pillow on the floor. Mary incoherantly snuggles into my bare chest. I wrap my arms around her protectivly "Ich liebe dich leibe."

1:15 PM: THE NEXT AFTERNOON

(MARY'S POV)

I woke up with a pare of strong pale arms wrapped around me. "Gutten Morgen leibe." he smiled. "I murdered your beer." I muttered and put my face on his bare chest. "So zats vhy ze gun vas out." he chuckled. "No beer for a week." I punched his stomach lightly. "That's your punishment you Prussian ass." "Kesese~" he kissed my hair. "Ich Libe Dich." I turned over, facing the otherdirection and purposefully landing my hair in his narsasistic face. "Yeah sure." I mutter "Just don't stay out that late again you douche-muffin." "I'll take zat as I love you to." He ssmirked. I raised my middle finger. "Shut up. I'm trying to sleep." I yawned. HIs arms enveloped me again. I sighed and cuddled my back into him. "love you." I whispered and shut my eyes.


End file.
